Tuesday, July 28, 2009


OK, so I've been dreaming lately about being self-employed. Starting a business, working from home, peddling crap out of the trunk of my car . . . something like that. And, because I'm enamored of the shuffle option on my iTunes, I've decided that music should tell my fortune. We'll give it three chances to tell me where I should invest my life savings. Good times, eh?

1. If I Wuz U -- P.M. Dawn
Well, right off the bat the hinky spelling the title would seem to suggest that I wouldn't be doing any editing.
"Mirror mirror whatcha got for me?
Since I'm you and you're just so me
I know they've lost themselves instead
I know that destiny's face is red
I can see my rainbow's real sweet"

Oh, P.M. Dawn, you hippie weirdos. (I don't even know how this album got on here -- did it come with my computer? Does that happen?) Perhaps this choice just reflects my own lack of direction. But I don't like the idea that destiny's face is red. What does my destiny have to be embarrased about?!?

2. Come to Me -- Otis Redding
Otis wants me to come to him and be his love for he loves me so. He sounds kinda sad. Do you represent my potential sugar daddy, Big O? You know I'm not that kind of girl. He's down on his knees, though. Sigh.

3. Fox Confessor Brings the Flood -- Neko Case
Great, more obfuscation and ambiguity:
"Of the fox confessor on splendid heels, And he shames me from my seat"

Whatever dude, was the question too broad?

Fine, maybe we should just do a yes or no question. I really like the idea of running my own junkyard. Is that a good idea?

1. Mule Train -- Maddox Brothers & Rose
"Clippety clop clippety clop clippety clippety clippety clippety clippety and so on, etc."
"They'll keep going 'til they drop"

Hmmm, are you saying it might be fairly monotonous drudgery? That's not what it seemed like on Sanford and Son.

2. Right is Right -- Rufus
"Right is right, wrong is wrong." What is WITH all this equivocation. I asked for your opinion. God.

3. My House Has Wheels -- Southern Culture on the Skids
Well, that's irrelevant, but I do love a trailer. Do you think there's money in junked trailers? Winfred, S.D., would beg to differ.

Well, I believe this reading was inconclusive. If it'd been the Magic 8 Ball I was asking, it would have said "Ask Again Later." So screw it.

P.S. Send any questions you would like to put to my collection of 3,540 songs. Maybe you'll have better luck.


Night Editor said...


suspiciously pleased said...

although i feel VERY dubious about your music catalog's ability to give advice (due to your evidence), i'm willing to try just about anything . . .

Mary's music catalog, what's my library job forecast for the future?