Becoming a Virgin

This is disturbing. By what kind of twisted thought process does a surgery make you a virgin again? I mean, it's bad enough that virginity is being used as a yardstick of a woman's worthiness. But apparently restoring the physical changes that result from sex also miraculously washes your mind clear of the experience?: "Now that the hymen is repaired, it's like never happened!" Like that one time your brother fell off the garage roof and broke his arm. He was in a cast for a while but now he's as good as new. Same exact thing!

I find this denial of women's experiences and the insistence on female Innocence and Purity infuriating. Honestly, what will it get you? Why are those qualities valuable? What is the damn point?

The endless ways that society finds to fear and to shame women's bodies makes me bone tired. We hate ourselves, dammit! We are too fat, our skin is not glowing, our feet are too big. We're too picky, we eat too much, we don't smile enough. We are moody and off-putting, we are too opinionated. YES! We. Get. It. We will never be good enough. Now piss off.

In the Jungle

On warm days like today, my cat likes to imagine he is a jungle beast, peering imperiously into the shrubbery and surveying the yard with a sleepy stare. Also, snacking on tasty grass, which he will yak up later on the carpet.

Carcass

OK, so there's a dead possum in my backyard this morning. That is not a metaphor, but an actual dead animal. Isn't a possum a southern animal? Why is it in Minnesota? And more importantly, why is it in my backyard? Did it visit me before? It's a mystery. Also, possums are not attractive animals:



All that and a rat's tail. Yeesh.

I could post a picture of my deceased visitor, but I don't want to gross you out. And now I have to dispose of the damn thing. Perhaps I'll have it stuffed and donate it to the Vermillion, S.D., library. They live for that sort of thing.

Any of you naturalists out there know about the habits of possums? Or is there some spiritual significance -- like maybe I had a possum spirit guide but now he's moved on so the turtle can take over or something? So many questions.

It's Sprung

This is Harald. He's my apple tree. He's very pretty this time of year. These photos don't really do him justice, but he puts out a LOT of apples. In fact, he produces more than his slim frame can handle, so many end up on the ground as squirrel food. I admire his ambition.

Do Your Thang, Honey

Southern Culture on the Skids cured my last cold, but I tried to chase this one off with Christina Aguilera:

Christina Aguilera...

I do love that tune, but it doesn't seem to have any curative powers. Perhaps she overdid it a little on the glory notes, because my head sort of hurts. But with pipes like that, I can forgive. Any other remedies to suggest?

Ready for Love

Maria's episode number 5:

Hello Again

Didn't mean to disappear. My dad's wife died suddenly last Friday, and we have had a rough few days. She was so lovely, and she and my dad enjoyed each other so much. They'd just finalized a trip to Egypt for September. She was such a wonderful part of our family. It's so unfair.

Ninja-tude

Suspiciously Pleased has introduced me to my new obsession, "Ask a Ninja":



Be warned: you can't watch just one. Macchiooooo!

I Scream

Never mind the intermittent freezing rain, people. The Conny's Creamy Cone is open for business. There's no surer sign of spring, y'all.

S.D. Moms

On tonight's episode of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," they built a house for a family living a few miles outside of Brookings, S.D. It's possible that we could have identified where they were from without being told though: When the family walked through the door of their extravagant house the first time, the mom took one look at the pristine wood floors and yelled, "Take off your shoes!"