Funny Lady

Apparently, the U.K.'s Daily Mail employs Catskills comedians, who, in turn, are still making jokes about women drivers. Oh, ha ha ha, yeah. Hilarious. Also hilarious: how we don't know anything about cars and are helpless in the face of shelves that must be assembled.

Dude, Henny Youngman is dead. Maybe you should stop ripping off his material.

Link via Jezebel

Oh No She Didn't

Some new evidence has surfaced in the case of the bigamous condiment. Hybrid Fat-N-Sassy has sent me this:



She had this to say:

"I didn't want to have to do this, but Mully provoked me by sending me a link to her honeymoon with Sunbutter blog. I simply can't allow her to go flourishing about, taking a sinful pride in her bigamous marriage with my husband. Attached please find a photo from our wedding, which occurred before Mully's false wedding to Sunbutter."

She signs herself "Mrs. Sunbutter."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but: Oh Snap!

Facelift

I had to change my blog template. I was afraid with that pink that people weren't taking me seriously. However, somehow the picture I uploaded to the header is blocking the blog description box. Stupid technology.

Prank Calls

Maria is masquerading as the baby Jesus. Turns out he has a lisp.

Twisted Metal

Here's some bridge-collapse aftermath for you. They are gathering the truss pieces on the riverbank next to the Washington Avenue bridge. I bike over the bridge on my way to work some days.

They seem to be arranging some of the pieces in the form of the structure:

It all seems so self-evidently flimsy in pieces like that. Like, how did it stay up for so long?

Pony!

I cannot believe I have a legitimate reason to share my most favorite bumper sticker with all y'all:

But I do! Meet Red Feather, newest addition to my brother's family. Here he is with Ben and Abby and Tess the dog:

It's every kid's dream! Except Kate. Her mother reports that she is pony-indifferent but excited that she can climb to the top of the ladder. Atta girl!

Someday...

... I'm going to have an orange kitty.



I might name him Cheeto. Or maybe Peaches.

Fin

Here's the missing ending to our condiment love story -- the wedding kiss:



The rest is history. Thanks for sending it, Boomer.

Art! Art! Art!

Mully totally hooked me up with one of her originals, and today I got it up on the wall. Dig:



It's called "Mule-Baby." I lurve it -- Thanks Mully!

P.S. to the artist: Why don't you have a blog devoted to your art? Where's the bunny love?

Proper Usage

Hybrid Fat-n-Sassy's last comment made me think of this:



Now you know.

Via BoingBoing

Sun Anyone?

I think I'm going to spend some of my hard-earned cash on a sunny vacation in February -- see if I can't stave off the mid-winter blues. Anyone want to join me? No kayaking experience necessary!

Nutty Love or How I Married a Condiment: The Mully Story

It's the oldest story in the world: Girl meets nut butter. Girl falls in love with nut butter. Girl drags her friends to South Dakota to participate in marriage to nut butter, drink.

The perfor.. er, festivities began the night before with the bachlorette party. Here's the bride with her sister, who is special:

We consumed much Sunbutter (the groom), and the bride, who's totally got a thing going on the side with tequila, made up a new drink by combining Jose Cuervo with champagne. The b. pronounced it "peppery" (it IS kinda cool, you should try it), and it came to be known as the Peppery Bitch. She will now be ordering it in every bar she goes to, because she is all about viral marketing.

On the drive across the state, we stopped in Wall so the bride and her maid of honor could strike sexy poses with fiberglass animals. That's how we roll in the S.D.:

For those of you who are unfamiliar with S.D. wildlife, that is a jackelope -- cross between a jackrabbit and an antelope. There were taxidermied jackelope heads on sale for a mere $69.99. Because on a S.D. vacation, you don't just visit another state. You visit an alternate reality. Woo!

You can also see a recreation of the poker game in which Wild Bill Hickock got hisself shot, complete with creepy mannequins:

But we did FINALLY reach Hermosa and held the blessed event. Here's the bride getting her hair done in the cowboy room by her maid of honor:

The groom's family was seated first. I thought they had a disapproving air:

The cowboy preacher, his beer, and his cigarette were in place along with the groom.

The flower girl exuberantly flung fragrant buds everywhere:

And the maid of honor and best man danced their way down the aisle:

At last, the bride walked the aisle to the tune of Glen Campbell's "Sunflower." Isn't she ravishing?

She clearly thinks so! The preacher got on with the service, which included some cowboy poetry on the subject of love. The congregation responded with resounding "Yipee-ty-yi-yays!"

Some people thought they could detect a telling bulge in the bride's abdomen, and speculated that this might be a shotgun wedding. But she was drinking like a fish, so we hope the rumors are untrue!

The bride's sister, Suspiciously Pleased, sang Annie's Song, accompanied by the best man, and then performed an interpretive dance. The congregants were visibly moved.

At this point, my camera battery died, which often happens while spending a few days with people who insist that you immortalize their every move on film. Perhaps Boomer can forward the photo of the bride and groom kissing. Our story hardly feels finished without it.

Swimmin' Hole

Part of my Labor Day weekend in the Black Hills of S.D. was spent in the local swimmin' hole with Boomer, Suspiciously Pleased, and J. Boomer is a super cute master of the rocks.



Meanwhile, S.P and I were recreating the famous men's synchronized swimming short film from SNL. "I know you! I know you!"

Don't tell me you haven't seen it! Here's an abridged version:

That. Never gets old.

Taped Over

OMG! It's the first ep of Maria's new season!

Business Time

There is much reportage to come about the long weekend, but I'll get you started with a bit we heard (and loved!) on one of the Sirius comedy channels. It's by an outfit called Flight of the Conchords:



Oh man. So good.