Protest and Hyperbole
I can't hold back any longer--Sun Butter is a bigamist!I met Sun Butter at Cub Foods a few months ago. "Ms. Fat-n-Sassy," he said, "You're a fine figure of a woman--a dem fine woman." "Spare my blushes," I said. "What about your fiancee, Mully?"He told me that his intended's indiscretions with the tequila had finally proved fatal to their union.I was swept off my feet, and there seemed no impediment to our happiness. We were married shortly after in a civil ceremony. Sun Butter established me in a townhome in Woodbury. At first I was inexpressibly happy. But soon I noticed that Sun Butter was away a lot, on business, he said. A woman from his past, who turned out to be the first Mrs. Sun Butter, e-mailed me these wedding photos from the other week, when Sun Butter told me he was at a conference in Indianapolis. I changed the locks on the townhome. I may be a ruined woman without a name, but I have my pride, and nobody can take that away from me.
I'm so sorry for how that got damn condiment has used you. Wait, is this your treatment for a movie on Lifetime?
I am devastated that someone would make up such a tale to try to come between Sunbutter and me. I just can't believe it. I won't. Unless I see some pictures.
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